Crashing Down

Posted on Tue Oct 8th, 2019 @ 4:46pm by Lieutenant Elara Evander

Mission: Preludes
Location: Hallway, USS Mazerine
Timeline: 2375, Time Unknown

"Keep up, Elara!" Mrs. Bennett said.

Since the Dominion War had started, the captain had encouraged all civilians and people who were seriously non-essential crew to head to somewhere safe, most people had headed to Earth. There were very few non-Starfleet civilians left now with the war nearly two years in. Elara had been spending most of her days with Mrs. Bennett and her three children. Elara was older than all of the children, so she was supposed to be keeping up. Mrs. Bennett was carrying her youngest daughter, Cora, who was three on her hip and was dragging her five year old son, Aaron, by the hand. Elara, who was seventeen, had the eldest daughter, Lani, who was ten at her side. With her other hand, Elara clung to her bag strap that contained Pippin, she'd not been leaving him anywhere since the war started, he'd even slept right beside her in bed just in case. The ship had been hit repeatedly and red alert had been up for what felt like the longest that Elara could remember. That hadn't been the worst part, though, the captain had ordered an evacuation after the ship had started separation.

She had absolutely no idea what was happening, but she knew that her dad would be with the bridge crew and her mom would be in a science lab. Her head felt like it was going to explode. Elara couldn't silence the feelings that felt very much like they were assaulting her, this feeling like she was being dragged down into a void of fear, confusion, panic, grief, and things that she couldn't even put a word to.

"No…"

The gasp and the word that came out of Mrs. Bennett's mouth joined the blur, but Lani pulling her to a window and the explosion of the stardrive section was enough to jar Elara out of her daze. Her own fear and panic really took hold of her as her mind raced. She knew that her dad was there...that her dad was gone…

"Elara?" Lani whispered.

It was then that she realized that she was crying.

"We have to keep going," Mrs. Bennett said. The hallway was being flooded now by personnel also heading to evac. They started to move again, Mrs. Bennett making sure that they were all together.

Elara.

She stopped and turned to look for her mother after hearing her voice. Lani pulled her suddenly and all the uniforms wasn't helping things.

Elara, keep going.

It was enough to divert her focus. There were still people coming behind them and she couldn't see through everyone, there were definitely blue collars that could be seen. Her mom would be right behind them was the thought running through her head as she turned around and headed quickly with Lani so that they were right behind Mrs. Bennett.

Another hit caused everyone in the hallway to fall to the side, but everyone was helping others up and back to moving.

I love you.

Elara fell against the nearby wall, her head so full and--

"Keep going," someone said as Lani was pushed forward and Elara was picked up, barely remaining conscious.

=============
Time: 0800 Hours
Location: Cargo Bay, USS Cabot
=============
They were nearly to Earth when one of the Mazerine's ship's counselors who had made it to the same ship as Elara approached her. She was sitting having breakfast alone with Pippin on her lap. There really wasn't much breakfast being consumed, but Elara had been having a difficult time and had been waiting for her mom to find her. Mrs. Bennett and her children had been transferred to another ship in order to be with her husband. She knew it was going to take time and that so many ships had taken on those who had evacuated from dangerously damaged ships. But it had been so long...and Elara couldn't believe that all she'd wanted was for her mother to sit next to her and extend her shield around her.

"Hello Elara," the counselor greeted.

She didn't look up, she just moved things around with her fork.

The counselor sat across from her, she was familiar but Elara couldn't remember her name. "I know that things have been so confusing for you," she said. "Do you remember me?"

Elara shrugged, still not looking at the counselor.

"I'm Counselor Feralas, but you can call me Renata if you'd like," she said. "I know that you must be worried. A lot of people have been relocated--"

Her head popped up. "I'm waiting for my mom."

"That's what I'm here about," the counselor said. "I know that you already know about your dad--"

Elara nodded, she'd cried a lot at night about being alone...she missed her parents. The doctors hadn't seemed concerned about her headaches, but that was on her, she knew. She'd pushed it aside especially since the Sickbay had been so filled with bloody and seriously injured people. She'd been checked on just the same. "I know," Elara said. "But my mom, she was behind us…"

"No, Elara--"

"She was! I heard her," Elara insisted. "She's probably on another ship, maybe she's unconscious or--"

"Elara, your mother died in the main science lab on the Mazerine with the rest of the scientists there shortly after the explosion of the stardrive," the counselor said as gently as she could. "It's just taken them this long to locate and identify her. I'm so sorry--"

"You're wrong."

"I'm sorry, I wish I were."

Elara just sat there, pulling Pippin tight to her chest, hugging him. "Then where do I go?" she asked. She couldn't process losing her mom, in her head, she was still certain that she was alive. There had been a mistake. Once they got to Earth, they'd probably straighten it all out.

"I know your brother is on board the Tavion," the counselor said.

"He's a cadet," she whispered. Leo was just four years older than she was. "He can't take care of me."

The counselor was quiet for a moment and nodded. "I've talked to your grandfather, Otis Evander?"

Elara nodded. "He's my dad's dad. He teaches engineers."

"He's on Utopia Planitia presently," the counselor said. "He's made arrangements that once we reach Earth that you go to the Academy if that is something that you want."

She didn't feel like she could breathe for a moment. Closing her eyes, she hugged Pippin tighter, not caring that that pressure against her chest was making her chest hurt more. She wanted Jacob. Her mind was screaming for a safe harbor and she just wanted to be with him right then. She could feel tears roll down her cheeks and she felt dizzy.

"Elara?"

"What if I don't want to go to the Academy?" she asked, half crying as she opened her eyes.

The counselor reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Do you know of any other family?" she asked. "As I understand your brother and paternal grandfather are your only next of kin. Do you know if there's family on your mother's side? Maybe on Betazed?"

"No," she breathed.

"We could certainly assess things, but right now your grandfather is deemed your guardian," the counselor continued. "Right now, maybe you and I can plan on talking each day until we reach Earth and you depart?"

Elara didn't feel like it was really a choice, so she just nodded her head. She didn't know what else she could do. Her parents had kept her on the Mazerine because they hadn't felt like they could send her to anyone...and now someone who was basically a stranger was choosing what came next in her life. At least she'd be able to pick her path at the Academy (if she continued to do that), so at least there was that. She was quiet, trying to think about how she wanted to say without the counselor thinking she was crazy. So when she spoke up, she was hesitant. "I know that you said that they identified my mom...but are you sure?"

"If it will make you feel better, I can go and personally identify her before the funeral arrangements begin."

Nodding, she just hoped that the counselor would be thorough and that she'd come back and say that they'd been wrong in the initial identification.

=============
Time: 0700 Hours
Location: Starfleet Academy Dorms, Earth
=============
Days later, Counselor Feralas wasn't able to take back the identification, instead she'd insisted that the original identification had been correct. Elara still didn't believe it. It didn't matter though, she'd been deposited on Earth at Starfleet Academy with a bunch of other kids her age. None of them had belongings it seemed and all of them seemed miserable. Elara had been issued a dorm room, a roommate who was far too excited about being there, and some standard issue clothing.

With her dorm room to herself, she'd sat with Pippin in front of the screen. She was expecting a call from her grandfather and brother. If Elara had any other ideas of where she could go that would have made sense, she'd have taken it in a heartbeat and have skipped this whole 'you're seventeen' crap. She accepted the incoming transmission, it was Leo first.

"Geez, Elara, how do you still have that stupid thing?" was the first thing out of Leo's mouth. He didn't really look too much older to her, he seemed taller and had facial hair. Other than that, he really just looked and sounded like the Leo she'd grown up with.

Elara ignored him. She didn't know if she was saved or not, but that was the time their grandfather decided to join the call, which she accepted and he was looped in. She was quiet, in this whole thing...she felt like she was an outsider. She hadn't seen Leo in over four years, she didn't know the last time she'd seen or talked to her grandfather...and yet this was who she was left with. Neither one understood her, not even Leo, and he'd already more than proved that by just opening his mouth a moment into the call.

"There you both are," Otis Evander said, his tone clearly trying to be cheerful. He was older than Elara expected, she didn't know why she expected him to be younger. Maybe she just expected him to look nicer, she didn't know. It was hard to know what to expect when you didn't know a person who was supposed to be considered family and was now your guardian. "I know that it would be much better if we were all able to discuss things in person--"

"Too much rebuilding that needs to be done throughout the fleet," Leo said. "I should actually be in engineering, but they insisted I take a two hour nap before getting back at it."

"You should take their advice, son," Otis told him firmly. "And the war isn't over yet…" He was quiet for a moment. "That's why you're on Earth, Elara...it's where your parents would have wanted you."

"They would have wanted me to be with people I know," Elara argued, feeling like that was her moment. "You could send me to Starbase 211 and I could stay with--"

"Oh Elara, you haven't even seen Jacob or the Devines in forever," Leo immediately started on her. "I don't know what kind of screwed up idea you have in your head, but take it from someone who is a guy, Jacob's not six anymore...he's probably not even thought about you or that stupid dragon since the week after we left." His words were harsh and Elara couldn't hold it together, tears streaming down her face as he continued. "When was the last time you even talked to him? I am certain it wasn't the same kind of conversation or excitement as it was when you guys first got separated."

Elara didn't know how to even respond to Leo. He'd never had a friendship or connection like she'd had with Jacob. She didn't care how long it had been since they'd been together in person or since the last time she'd talked to him. Why did it matter at all? She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be with a family, right now she really didn't feel like she had one. Why did they care if she wanted to be somewhere else? Somewhere where she hoped there would be less judging.

"Just a moment," Otis said very seriously.

She wiped the tears away, she wanted to just go curl up hugging Pippin and get lost in her emotions...and maybe not wake up from it. Elara felt like it was honestly useless to even voice anything. She looked down at Pippin and ran her thumb along his scales. Maybe if she talked to Jacob, he could talk to his parents, and they would help her grandfather understand that that would be a better--

"Elara, dear, did you know that Elania Devine died about two weeks ago?" Otis questioned. "Looks like she was incredibly sick for some time." He paused for a moment before quickly continuing. "Leave them be, Elara," he said firmly. "Your Jacob and his father have been be grieving...and I'm sure figuring out how to be a single parent is going to be hard enough on top of that without you there to make things more difficult--"

Elara hit the button to end the calls. She moved to her bed, her world feeling even more like it had crashed down around her. With Pippin tight against her chest, she pulled the blanket up over her head and just cried. Emotions were not always easy for Elara, but in that moment...she felt like she could embrace the heartbreak. The loss was overwhelming, the hopelessness, and Elara didn't know how she was going to make it through. "Pippin," she whispered between sobs. "I wish I could send you to Jake--" A sob cut her off and she curled up more. Embracing her emotions were easy to get lost in and she found herself feeling like everything was fading around her, like all that remained was the pain she was feeling, it was like a numbness… She wasn't tired, but she felt like she was slipping away--

There was a whoosh sound that faded into everything, but that wasn't what jarred Elara from the void that threatened to take her. "What the heck is wrong with you?" The blanket was yanked from over her and Elara found herself blinking up at the other girl through tears. "Pull it together. Geez, you're alive and you're here. It's a privilege, get up, we're going to eat in the mess hall." This was the first time she'd heard Adira be anything but bubbly. When she pulled away Pippin, Elara thought that she might burst right then, but she watched Adira place it in the spot Elara had decided was his and then offer a hand to her. "You need to get out...out of here and out of your head," she insisted sternly.

She was beyond fighting in that moment. Elara looked from Adira to Pippin, her feelings were so overwhelming and it would be so easy to sink back into them...to get lost.

"He'll be there when we get back, I promise," Adira told her. "We can tell him all about it. You said his name is Pippin, right?"

Even though Adira was annoying, Elara supposed that at least she didn't think Pippin was stupid or make fun of her over him or being emotional. "Yes." She looked back at her roommate and sat up, peeking at Pippin for a moment, before turning back and wiping tears away.

"You're science, right? Do you like botany?"

Adira was trying and her voice was gentle and not so firm now. Elara just nodded slowly. "On the Mazerine, I liked to sit in the Arboretum."

"Did you have a favorite flower or plant?"

"Pippin and I used to sit and look at the white tulips...I always wanted to sit in a field of them," Elara said quietly.

"Let's get you up, put some water on your face, and I promise we'll take a nice scenic walk...and if we're really good at being sneaky, I bet we could steal away a flower to bring back to Pippin," Adira said. "Okay?"

"Okay."