Lend me your Ear

Posted on Sun Aug 11th, 2019 @ 10:20pm by Commander Logan Vance & Lieutenant Jéanne-Thérèse Marsol

Mission: Down the Rabbit Hole
Location: Vance's Quarters
Timeline: MD: 3, Time: 2200

Jéanne-Thérèse was running late herself tonight. Normally she was always on time for things, but tonight after dinner, she accidentally had dozed off on the couch looking at the inventory stores. The lag she had from two weeks of hard shuttle travel was also catching up to her too. She had freshened up quickly, and grabbed another bottle of wine just in case Logan really needed it. She didn’t plan on drinking that much so that she would at least be the proper ear he needed to vent to.

Wearing rich dark brown corduroy pants and a deep navy blue loose blouse, she walked out of her quarters in her black flats and made a beeline to Logan’s temporary quarters. She tapped her badge when she was outside. She didn’t want to wake Amanda up by ringing the chime. “Marsol to Vance, I’m here.” She looked at the watch on her wrist: she was only five minutes late at this point.

Logan answered the door. "Come on in. I triple checked. She's asleep. I made sure she didn't set anything up to check if some else came into the room. You might think I'm kidding, I'm not. She likes to play games like that. She's actually gotten pretty good."

"Okay…" she trailed off and shook her head. 'Spies…' the thought came as she handed over the chilled bottle of wine. "Chilled white merlot. Got some glasses?" She asked.

"Sure," he nodded and went to the replicator and got some. He returned and set them on the table before he took the bottle to open it. "Do you want anything else? Something to eat?" he asked as he poured.

"Maybe some cheese and crackers. That always goes well with wine," Jéanne commented. "Otherwise I'm fine. How's the leg feeling?"

"Could you be more French?" he teased as he replicated the snacks. "Still sore of course but nothing I can't manage." He put the food on the table before sitting down and offering her a seat on the couch next to him.

"Je peux être," she replied with a thick accent. She smiled as she took the seat he offered and tucked her leg up and underneath her as she poured herself and him a glass of wine. "If it does get worse than you can imagine, let me know and I can get you something for the pain."

He put his arm around her as he took the glass and clinked the two glasses together. She looked good, she smelled better but that wasn't what tonight was about. He didn't have any idea how to even start this conversation. "I'll be fine. I've dealt with worse. You should have seen me four months before I showed up to get you."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" she asked. "What happened?"

"Op got compromised. Got captured, tortured within an inch of my life, barely survived. Got lucky when someone pulled me out," he summarized. "Wasn't a fun time."

She took a sip of wine and had to catch her from trying to choke when he had said what he did. "That's horrible. I'm glad you got pulled out. The beauties of 24th century medicine. I had no idea back then that you had been through that. Did you find out how you got compromised?" "

"I did. It was dealt with."

It was so finite and definitive. She spent enough time with intelligence during her isolation and reintegration that she knew when to not pry. "That's good." She looked down at her wine trying to figure out how to address the elephant in the room. "So talk to me. I know the whole late 'Surprise! You're now a single father' can be trying. It seems like you two at least are hitting your stride. Still on the rapid learning curve?"

"I remember what it was like to be her age. All the trouble I got into. I was basically on my own as my father was trying to care for my sister. On the one hand, I'm glad she's here and can't get into that much trouble. On the other hand, she is entirely too focused on my work it's obsessive. And it wasn't like I could hide my past from her. She's too damn good at getting into systems. So now she sees her spy dad who tricked the people she grew up being told they were superior, who sleeps around, gets in and out of anywhere he wants and is the holder of way too many secrets and wants to be exactly like him. Any sense of normal goes out the window when you're dealing with that," Logan just let loose.

"That's a large burden to bear, especially if you are trying to discourage following in your footsteps. I can see why you want to step back a bit and slow down the pace. Have you ever thought of leaving Intelligence?" She asked. "You know I'll always be appreciative of you being you. If it's causing that much stress and pressure maybe getting out would be beneficial for your family, which in turn is beneficial to you."

His eyes dropped. "Thought about it? Of course. It's just not an option for me," he told her. "It's complicated but I made a deal when I joined. They can cut me loose if they want but I can't leave. Given how good I am the former is unlikely as long as I'm useful."

"Understandable. We all have our callings. We usually are smart enough to recognize when our environment and callings need to change. Just make sure that you keep an objective view on your situation. Intelligence agents have the highest burnout in the fleet. Did you know that? We especially as humans have a desire to tell people our secrets and that's against protocol." She twisted and pulled a hair away from him so she could see him instead of just sitting next to him. Resting her hand on his right thigh near his knee she continued. "As you said earlier, you're a father now and have more responsibilities. It can be very difficult to have dependents on you. Schedule is paramount and everything is so much harder. From what little I saw last night, you seem to be making the best of it."

"Trying to anyway," he sighed. "I mean, I can't quit my job but I can rein in my… extracurricular activities. That's difficult for two reasons. One, there is no shortage of attractive women on most of these ships and not to puff myself up too much, I'm still quite popular in that arena," he smirked. Granted, he didn't attract as many women as he used to but more than he could reasonably keep up with. "Two, it's one of the few vices I've allowed myself over the years and it's my natural stress relief. So not only is there a constant temptation but there is no stress relief. Complaining about something like that to most people sounds disingenuous."

"Why does it no longer provide you stress relief?" She asked. "Or are you saying that since you're abstaining from sex that you are getting no stress relief?" She asked to clarify his statement.

"The latter," he clarified. "I mean, when I engage, it's still very effective."

"Well. Breaking it down, you will need to find an alternate form of stress relief, maybe swimming or rock climbing? A lot of people find exercise cathartic. Other people pick up hobbies like sewing or art. Or you find a way to get the release without it seeming like you are partaking in extracurricular activities. Sex has been proven for millennia as a form of stress release. The hormones released are tremendously effectively at reducing stress." She was being clinical about it. "It once was prescribed for hysteria in women," she laughed lightly trying to make sure she didn't wake Amanda. "Does handling it yourself give you the same release as with a woman or not so much?"

"Swimming? Rock climbing? Things like that are too often a part of my job. It's work. It's a part of surviving," he explained and finished off his first glass of wine. "As far as handling it myself? It's… not as effective," he revealed. He poured himself another glass. "The craziest part? I've actually been thinking about settling down with someone. Three years ago, that thought wouldn't have even crossed my mind. The thing is though, while most people think I don't care about the women I spend time with. That couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I think it shows more caring to keep them away from becoming a permanent part of my life given my line of work. I'd keep Amanda completely separate from it if I could. It's dangerous for those around me."

She finished eating some crackers and cheese while he spoke allowing her some time to mull over an answer. "Then why not start looking to settle down? I mean you have some hurdles, but you could totally succeed at it. You'd need to find someone willing to accept you and your secrets, your daughter, similar interests, and the risks we face being active service. My family still struggles with me being in Starfleet. I wouldn't have it any other way though."

"Easier said than done," he pointed out. "Even if I grew to care about someone that much and even if they accepted all the risks and the situation, that's a lot to ask. Like I said, I've thought about it, for Amanda's sake. But I'd want it to be someone who can be a mother to her. Ideally not in Starfleet but if they were, someone with the flexibility to be there if I couldn't be. That severely limits the protection prospects."

She rested her head on her hand as she smiled. "Seems like you're shutting yourself down even before you get started. A bit defeatist."

"Yeah, well, there is an aspect of if I pick the wrong person too," he continued. "I mean… one woman the rest of my life? Better make sure it's a good one, you know?" he said, half joking, half serious.

"Logan, in all seriousness how long of a relationship have you been in?" She asked curiously.

"Do the four years with you kinda count despite the fact that I kinda skipped them?" he quipped.

"No. That wasn't a relationship; we don't quite count. This is the sixth time we have actually been together and we only had sex one of those six times, even though we did it twice. The whole point of dating someone is to find out if you're compatible with them. To see if you like who they are and that type of couple you make. Sex comes into play to make sure you're physically capable with each other. Through the iterative process a woman either makes it or not. I've had all except marriage. Was engaged once, but I didn't like who he truly turned out to be so I broke it off." She finished off her wine and refilled her glass topping his off in the process.

"Despite the fact that I haven't been in many relationships, I know what they are about," he shook his head. "I was only joking. So let me think… how long was our trip back to the Starbase?" She rolled her eyes at him. "All right, all right," he sighed. "Honestly? I was with Rhiana, Amanda's mother for a month. It was all fake but… it's the longest I've been with one person."

"Then I think that should be your goal. Not just abstain from everything but what you do want: someone reliable. Find the woman who you think looks cute. Feel out her interests. Make sure you like her and then introduce Amanda. Women who don't want kids will make that a deal breaker. In the process of dating one woman, you'll learn what matters to you and what you look for in a partner. Of course over the course of time this can change." She smiled at him. "Stop complicating it and just open up. So consider tonight a more informal off the books counseling session or as an acquaintance making sure the man who saved her life is okay. Hell, if you really need help reconciling it, consider it a date."

"Is this your attempt to move yourself onto the candidates list?" he cocked an eyebrow.

A smirk crossed her lips. "Seeing you again yesterday after four years having lost touch, it was a very pleasant surprise. You spent all of what? Thirty six hours with me since you were wheeled into my life over the course of eight of my years? I would say that we have consciously probably spent eight hours of that together, one of those just scratching itches and taking advantage of two hot people? And four of those hours were your mission too." She downed her wine quickly. "If you want to call it that, sure. I offered you the s'envoyer en l'air because that's who you were four years ago and who I figured you still were. Not sure about you, I at least enjoyed those two times."

"I mean when you put it that way," he acknowledged. "I guess don't hold it against me that I didn't think about it cause I haven't thought about settling down at all, all that much," he tried to qualify. He took another drink. "That being said, there is still a list. Is that going to be a problem?"

"A list?" She asked.

"We were talking about this in the sense of making sure this works for me, Amanda and my work. I hope you're not offended if I investigate all options?" He wasn't sure if he was digging a hole here or not. If he was, well then, it would work its way out one way or another.

"You still didn't quite answer what you meant by list. As in a list of candidates for you to settle down with? Or a list of requirements for said candidates?" She clarified her question.

"A list of candidates to settle down with," he replied.

She rubbed his cheek lightly and kissed the other one. "For all I know, you're this crazy time traveler." She laughed.

"Hey…" he objected. "I resent the implication that I'm some sort of time traveler… I only did that once. It didn't turn out well. I only got laid twice… by the same chick."

Lightly punching him on the shoulder, she replied "you started it. I just made sure to finish it. Also, you weren't complaining."

"Well, to be fair, you fell asleep right away, so…" he teased.

"As did you!" she teased back. "Talking about sleep, we should probably get some of it as its nearing oh dark thirty."

"Probably not a bad idea," he conceded. "Although it occurs to me if we set up a proper date, part of that would be exploring physical compatibility," he smiled. "So should I make arrangements ahead of time for Amanda?"

Laughing lightly, she replied, "I thought we already had figured that one out." She set the empty glass near the empty platter on the table and leaned forwards giving him a kiss on the lips. She pulled away a couple of inches from his face before continuing. "You have your rain check you can cash whenever for s'envoyer en l'air or we call it checking compatibility on said date."

He nodded. He had no idea how this was going to go or if it was even a good idea but at this point, all options were on the table. On the Hawking, he'd kept his circle small in terms of female 'friends'. He had hoped he could keep them on the down low when it came to Amanda. That didn't work. Now, he had to be more pragmatic about it and explain what was going on and deal with the consequences, whatever they were. "In that case, keep your calendar open."

"You know where and how to find me. Case in point, '44 and that hardware store." She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Don't worry, I can keep work and life separated. So if you ever need to vent, you know I'll be there for you."

Even though she could keep them separate, he wasn't sure how good he'd be at doing that. Still, he was willing to try if it meant giving Amanda some normalcy. "Take care," he kissed her on the cheek.

"You too. Dont forget: after shift or before shift the next day. Bonne nuit." She smiled and left.